I Thought I Deserved It

It’s been a while since I last posted, and my life has been very full of college stuff. I’ve heard back from all of my colleges and have decided where I’ll go next year. It’s not my top college, and half of everyone I know is going or went there, but I’ve realized that it is the best place for me to explore and grow in areas I’m interested in without having a huge stress of academics all the time. One academic challenge I applied for and expected to get into was the Honors Program at this university. Surprisingly, I wasn’t accepted. 

When I heard that I hadn’t been accepted, I was so confused. Did God not want me to strive for the highest learning opportunity I had? Did He not want me to be smart? Being rejected really hurt because I’ve been taking International Baccalaureate class for the IB Diploma for the past three years. (IB is a step above AP, which is a step above honors classes, which is a step above regular, etc). I had worked so hard and done well enough, that I felt like I deserved it. I couldn’t understand why God didn’t let me get into the Honors Program. I became frustrated with God and with life because it seemed as if all my hard hard work was for nothing, and that He didn’t want to me to achieve great things. Well, I think I finally realized what God was trying to teach me.
I am not entitled to receive a place in the Honors Program. I am not entitled nor deserve anything.

Also, just because a path in life is good, it doesn’t mean that it’s God’s plan. There’ll be many paths that would lead to a great future, but God has a special path for me. After realizing these two things, I’ve found a bit more peace because I see what God’s pla was. I needed to be taught a lesson. Everything I own or that occurs in my life is a blessing from Him. I should strive my hardest, but not act entitled. I understand that now, and I realized my fault. 

Want to know something really cool? God’s given me a second chance. A few days ago, I was notified that I wasn’t accepted into the Honors Program because something was wrong with my application. If I sent in the updated information, they would reconsider me for the Honors Program.  How cool is that? I’ll be content whether I get in or not, but God gave me a second chance after I realized that I do not deserve everything I want in life and was content to trust in God’s plan. I do trust in God’s plan. And I’m excited to see what He’s going to do next.

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