For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7
There are two types of confidence. There’s the confidence received through walls you’ve built up which keep everyone out, and there’s the confidence received through vulnerability. I’ve been called confident many times in my life, but I’ve begun to realize that my confidence comes from keeping people out, instead of letting them come in.
My idea of confidence for the past few years has been of being strong and untouchable. If the world isn’t able to hurt me, then I’ll be okay. I hardened myself by building walls that would keep people out so they wouldn’t be able to damage my softness inside. My confidence is not real confidence, it is actually quite the opposite. It is fear and distrust in God. You might be thinking that going from buillding walls to mistrusting God is a big jump, but really they’re the same thing. By building walls I intended to hide who I really was. If I truly identify myself as Christian, then I am trying to hide my Christianity. I’m hiding my light under a bush, as the old song goes. God doesn’t want me to hide my Christian self and it probably pains Him when I do. He has a confidence that can withstand any boulder.
David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord ’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” 1 Samuel 17:45-47
This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. The confidence in which David speaks is the confidence in the LORD. David openly accepted God’s will and found confidence in Him. David showed his love by risking his life for his God and his country. He was about as vulnerable as anyone can get. I want to be like David. Not exactly shouting at everyone and hitting them on the head with God’s truth, but confident. I want my confidence to come from knowing and believing in God. He is my strength and my firm foundation. In Him I can do all things.