About two years ago, I was taught how to meditate. It was a common practice during Bible times, but has fallen out of practice in modern day. Two years ago, I enjoyed private time with God, but have since fallen out of the practice of meditation. Two weeks ago, I thought I would try it again. Since then, God has guided me closer to Him and helped me understand who He is.
Two Saturdays ago, I tried meditating again. I wrote in my journal that “it was miraculous how easily God took all my troubles when I asked.” He gave me lots of advice that night and showed me my true feelings concerning a certain boy that was confusing my life at the time. I was comforted when finished.
Throughout that first week, I began to listen more intently to what God was trying to tell me. Words of guidance such as “be careful”, “keep an open mind”, and “find your spot” were placed into my head during meditation, and I found that as time went on, these words of wisdom applied to events in my life that I probably would have messed up without guidance. Some of them I managed to mess up anyways. From this beginning meditation, I learned that I need to listen to God and He’ll guide me throughout the trials of life and make life so much more joyful.
During that first week, I didn’t have much time for meditating. Usually I did all that stuff right before I went to bed. But after that, camp started and I had hours to meditate. I had gone to camp expecting God to solve one of my problems in my life. When it wasn’t being solved, I asked God “Why?”. I was really struggling to get anything out of the week’s theme because none of it related to the problem I was trying to fix. Then one night while I was meditating, God said, “I love you”. I was shocked. I actually was. This wasn’t guidance to help me solve my problem, this was a statement that I didn’t really understand. Turns out I wasn’t keeping an open mind like He told me to. My time at camp wasn’t the time for Him to solve my problem, but it was a time for me to begin to figure out who God is, so that I can feel His love. I had drifted away from an intense relationship with God, and He wanted me back. Once I realized that my view of camp was wrong, I began to focus on becoming closer to God. Because once I figure out who He is, and figure out who I am as well, He can easily solve all my problems. From my meditation at camp, I realized that I need to focus more on learning who God is instead of trying to solve my earthly problems.
So, it’s been over a week since camp ended and I’ve continued to meditate every night, but last night I had another revelation. When I meditate and talk with God, I always look up and imagine myself in outer space; just me and God. But last night, it felt like God wasn’t in that outer space arena that I had created. I was thinking about it, but then I remembered a song I had been listening to just thirty minutes earlier. The climax line is: “Don’t look above, but in your heart for God”. I realized that I was doing exactly what the song was telling me not to do. So, instead of looking upward into the universe, I looked into my heart. Guess who I found! God showed me that He isn’t only in the sky, but is always in my heart, traveling with me wherever I go. I asked Him if He was constantly with me, and like Professor Snape in Harry Potter, God replied, “Always”.
God always being with me and not just in the sky reminded me of the Sunday School lesson this past Sunday. We had talked about how when the Israelites had been taken captive as slaves, they weren’t able to visit their temple; they believed that God resided in the temple and therefore they weren’t able to worship Him without being there. After a while though, they began to realize that the God of the universe was not contained in the temple’s building, but resided with every Israelite in their heart. I guess I kind of realized that last night too. God isn’t a being only reachable through intense prayer and meditation, but He’s available to me 24/7 in my heart. He will never leave me and I am never alone.
To wrap it all up, these past two weeks have shown me a huge amount of insight into who God is and what I need to work on in my relationship with Him. I started off just receiving advice, but grew to where I began to discover what a real relationship with God is like. This has truly been an super cool journey that I’m still traveling on day by day.