I’m not listening!!!

There are many things my mind incorrectly associates with something else. For example, when I say I’m going to go rest, my mind immediately thinks “nap”. When I go into the kitchen, my mind immediately thinks “food”. It isn’t wrong to think these things when I go to rest or into the kitchen, but if I’m not really tired, but my mind wants to sleep, there is something wrong. When I am not hungry, but my mind wants to eat, there is something wrong. I’ve gotten into the habit of looking through foggy glasses. I’m not seeing what’s really there, but an opportunity for a luxury that I don’t need.

Going off onto a different, but related track, there are a few good results that come from shopping. One is that I usually end up with a bunch of cute clothes. The other result is that I realize I’m not the size I want to be. My mirror at home must be magic because when I looked in the store mirror today, I asked myself, “Does this size really fit that well? Do I really look that dumpy? Why doesn’t that size fit anymore?”. Yes, I know that it’s not exactly positive thoughts, but it’s kind of a slap of reality that it’s summer and I’m not getting the exercise from dance or gym. It doesn’t matter that it’s hot, I need to exercise.

I’ve gotten into so many bad habits since the beginning of summer and I need to stop! I need to get up in the morning and go for a run. I need to keep my room clean. I need to eat healthier. I need to stop taking naps!

This may sound like a rant, and it kind of is, but I needed to get it out of my system. I had a great week at camp and an awesome 4th of July, but it isn’t magically going to keep on being fantastic. I’ve got to put a little work into it. God’s trying to tell me that and I’m pretending to be hard of hearing. He’ll get through to me eventually. I’ve just got to listen.


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