Today was a meeting for my Leadership Group. I had told everyone I could come and was super excited: I love these meetings. Then, something got messed up in our scheduling, and I couldn’t go. I said it was fine, but as soon as I got back to my room, I realized that I wasn’t fine. That’s when I started sobbing. This wasn’t “I didn’t get my way sobbing”. Far from it. I had been so looking forward to going to this meeting because it doesn’t always happen and it’s my favorite afterschool activity right now. If I had to get rid of all but one of my activities, I would choose to keep this one. I really, really love going there and I love the people that go there. It’s a place where I truly belong, can truly be myself, can truly grow in Christ, and am truly supported by others. Obviously a big contrast from home. Another thing is, I never cry. Never. I don’t remember crying since I moved, which was over three years ago. I disciplined myself to not feel my emotions because in a tough world, emotions just get in the way. But I guess after a long, hard day with a four hour SOL, I just wasn’t up for the disappointment. It wasn’t just my heart that wanted to be at that meeting, literally, my soul wanted to be there too. There’s a small emptiness inside right now and I know why. I can’t fix anything, which I think is why I cried. I was helpless. I was weak and sobbing. And though they heard, nobody cared.