Today on the radio, I heard something interesting. One of the people on the radio was talking about giving moms the “gift of prayer”. It caught my attention because I had never heard that phrase before. Prayer, a gift? I’ve never thought of prayer as a gift. Prayer was something that Christians just … did. Nothing special. But when I think of a gift, I think of something chosen for that person and is given from the heart. Does prayer fit that description? Maybe it should.
Today while shopping, I stepped into Barnes&Noble and bought a new journal; I’ve been wanting one for a prayer journal. This new phrase of “the gift of prayer” will definitely affect what I do with that journal, or at least make me rethink my objectives as to why I’m starting a prayer journal. Is God trying to tell me something? I think maybe He is. Last spring, about a year ago, I was praying and meditating every night. That was the time that I’ve felt closest to God. I felt like I was truly in His will. Being in His will made Centrifuge Camp and my mission trip so much more meaningful. My life had a purpose. Meaning. Joy. I say that I want those things back, yet I do nothing to regain them. I create dreams and goals, but I skip steps. I’m prideful, not humble. I’m closed-off, not open. I lie to myself, and to others. There’s something that I’m missing. I think it’s just talking with God.
When I moved away from my hometown, I was so sad about losing all of my friends. My friends were my security. Leaving, I promised that I would talk to them every day. My best friends were tearful when I left. So was I. However, I rarely talk with any of them anymore. It’s sad, but that’s what happens. My relationships with my friends are like my relationship with God. If I don’t take good care of it, it’ll disappear. Many things are like this. Plants, animals, relationship, food. A big part of life is maintiaining a constant love and contact. I don’t seem to be doing that in many areas of my life.
This post is starting to sound kind of sad! Though there is seriousness, there is also happiness. The fact that I’m acknowledging these problems is a start. Next I can start acting on them. In fact, I already am! My regular journal already has a few words in it for today, and my prayer journal is next! Though I keep falling off the Path to Christ, He continually pulls me back up and gives me a crutch to help me walk. Comforting me, Jesus shows His love for me all the time. He shows His love for everyone. I just hope I can show that love back.