Putting the Cart before the Horse

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” -Isaiah 6:8

I always want to think that I’m the one saying “Here I am! Send me, send me!”, but I think that more often that not, I’m the one cowering behind others saying, “No God, I don’t want to do that”. I’m not sure. I think I have definitely gotten stronger and more willing to stuff for God, but also I tend to put the cart in front of the horse. Basically, I want to do stuff that I’m not ready for. I want to climb Mount Everest before I’ve walked up a hill. I want to sing the national anthem at a televised sports event before I’ve ever sang at school. (These are just examples, not really goals of mine). But some small steps can seem like big ones and can be even more enjoyable than the big steps. This blog for example, was just a side thought to record my feelings inside. Now, it’s a big part of my life. I hope that I’ll be able to continue this for my entire life. It seemed like a small step at first, but it has become a large step that will resound with me for the rest of my life.

Okay, so there are some things that I’m doing now, but there are a lot of things that I’m not doing right now. Many of them I can’t. So, instead of being melancholy, I can prepare. I can prepare to follow my dream of being a Youtuber by thinking of ideas and getting it all set up. I can prepare for my goal of getting fit by actually starting to exercise! Starting with small steps makes a difference. I see an example of that in something that I’ve been doing for the past five months. Five months ago, I did twenty wall-pushups before my shower. Then I pushed myself to thirty. Then fifty. Now I’m doing thirty real pushups before every shower. I can actually see and feel my muscles! When I started doing those wall-pushups, I never imagined that I would keep with it. I never knew that I would be determined enough to keep going and push myself. But I did. That one small decision has given me some self-confidence back. One. Small. Decision.

So maybe when God asks for someone to take out the garbage, I’ll say, “Pick me!”. For who knows what could happen? It might not be much, but I’ll gain a little bit more responsibility in the least. Maybe one day that “take out the trash” will become “go visit the country where your trash is their treasure”. Those probably aren’t the words that God’ll use, but I sure do hope that He’ll send me somewhere where I can do His will. Good things come to those who wait.

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