Reflecting

Today is the last day of Lent, and I thought that it would be good for me to reflect. At the beginning of Lent, it seemed like forty days was forever. I craved sweets. But now, on the last day, I’m almost sad that it’s ending. I enjoyed my determination to resist temptation and was a small source of pride. I found self-confidence during Lent. And I felt a lot healthier.

Lent wasn’t all daisies and butterflies though. I did slip up one or two times, but the biggest worry of mine is that I’ve become really distant from God. I’ve said this before, but I’m kind of going back to where I was before I ever moved. Taking God for granted. It depresses me. I can’t pray, I can’t meditate. I never really read my Bible. Instead of replacing my sweet eating time with Bible time, I replaced it with other stuff. I’m sad that Lent has to end because if I’m this low during Lent, I’ll probably get a whole lot lower with temptation. Of course, Lent doesn’t have to stop.

If abstaining from sweets became a habit (with a few treats every so often) then maybe I could try and focus on God some more. Honestly though, I don’t think that will be enough. I need something to really get me going. Just saying that I will won’t work. I thought that my journaling would get me going again, which it did, but I still haven’t been journaling daily. I’m lost and I need to find my shepherd. I guess Easter is the perfect time to find Him.

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