I’ve heard people say before that if I make time for God, He’ll make time for everything else. I thought I knew what that meant, but I’m not so sure anymore. I mean, should I completely disregard my homework, chores, etc. until I’ve had, I don’t know, two hours in God’s word? How far does that saying go? I know that I need to make God my priority, but I think I don’t because I’m still worrying too much. I guess it’s a good reminder that I need to keep giving up all my worry and anxiety to God (1 Peter 5:7).
This morning, I was on the bus and thinking about the essay, socratic seminar, and two tests that I hadn’t studied for. I was worrying and thinking about how bad my grades would be, but then I remembered that I need to work on my worry. So I gave my worry up to God. As soon as I let it go, I felt free and joyful. I knew that I might not do as well, but what would come would come. I know that this was only a small step, but at least I’m moving forward.
Last night after dinner, I came into my room and noticed that my tree had lost it’s last leaf. The quick history behind my tree is that last year, I was gardening at my school and found a tiny oak sapling with five leaves on it. I took it home and kind of adopted it. I’ve taken pretty good care of it and I’ve enjoyed seeing it grow, even if it was only a few centimeters. When I saw that it’s last leaf had fallen, I was really sad. Then I thought, this is kind of what I’m going through right now. I’ve been holding on to the multitude of spiritual highs that I had last spring and wondering why I’m still not having them. During the winter, I kind of shut down a bit. Stereotypical winter stuff. But now that Spring is coming, I feel an awakening of the soul. The leaf that fell off is like letting go of the past and preparing for the future. So instead of feeling sad, I feel hopeful. I also feel comforted because I know that my leaves will come back and I will start feeling stronger soon.
Sorry if this post is a little disjointed, I was just typing up my thoughts as they came to me. I want to ask one more thing in this post. I want to ask for prayers for a girl named Courtney. I’ve never met her in person, but right now she’s going through a really tough time. From what I know of her, she grew up in a Christian home and is a very strong Christian. She has always been positive and a great athlete that was loved by everyone she met. About a year ago, she was diagnosed with some sort of disease. She had to stop playing basketball, tennis, cheer, and everything else that she loved. However, she still stayed positive. When it caused her to lose all of her hair, almost everyone in her highschool senior class shaved their heads. She was always able to look on the bright side, but her last facebook post was asking for prayers. If you could just send up a quick prayer, I know that it could make a difference. I’ll be praying for her, hoping that she gets better soon.