I’ve finally realize why I’ve been so happy inside for the past few days. No, not happy. Joyful. A joyfulness that comes from within my soul. The reason for this is because after years of depression and a bad self-image, I am proud of myself. I am proud of what I am currently doing and proud of my determination to get it through. I’m beginning to see results. I’m beginning to regain self-confidence. I’m beginning to re-find my relationship and trust with God. I’m beginning.
Being proud of myself is not being pompously prideful, I don’t think. I feel like I’m starting to become what I was made to be. I’m beginning to love myself. And that love comes from the love that I’m feeling from my Eternal Father. I’m starting to see his hand everywhere in my life: caring for me, protecting me, giving me strength, etc. He’s making me stronger.
Which comes at a very important time of the year. For those who don’t know, tomorrow is Lent. There are many different variations of the understanding and practice of Lent, but my understanding is this: when we practice Lent, we are mirroring in an Earthly way the time when Jesus went into the desert for forty days without food or drink; whether it be giving something up or trying something new, we are showing the LORD that we are striving to become like Him by calling on the LORD for strength and determination for this type of worship for God. That’s the basis of Lent: worship. And so this year I’m going to partake in Lent like I did last year. As I grow in my faith, I begin to look forward to Lent to show God that I am not a lazy creation taking all for granted and abusing my blessings. So I’m going to be giving up the biggest temptation in my life: food.
Don’t worry! I’m not giving up all food. But after school I usually eat the quantity of two meals for snack plus at least one dessert somewhere in the day. So I’m giving up snacks and sweets. I had thought about planning to exercise more, but as I do my routine every day before my shower, I feel that I am at a good pace and God approves of where I’ve come.
So, why am I telling you this? I almost hadn’t. Lent is a very personnel thing, but sometimes determination isn’t enough to get a person through temptation. So I’m praying that some of you might keep me accountable for my actions and check up on me every so often. I’ll do the same for you if you would like. We Christians should stand together in this period of worship and rise to the occasion of bonding together to become closer to God. I look forward to my journey.