Today during and after church, I had a couple realizations. Dr. B, my pastor, was talking about having Transactional and Transformational conversations. He focused on the passage in John 4:1-26 where Jesus asks the Samaritan woman at the well for some water. Every time that she tried to have a normal, transactional conversation, Jesus would delve deeper and talk about meaningful, transformational things. Eventually, she and possibly her whole town were saved. Because Jesus went out of the ordinary and created a transformational conversation.
Because my church is halfway through the series of sermons of Transformation, the words transactional and transformational might not have any meaning to you. They didn’t have any meaning to me until today. In a definition of my own words, transactional is day to day scheduled stuff. I wake up, go to school, talk with friends, eat lunch with my friends, come home, go to sleep. Nothing exciting. But a Transformational day is when I meet someone new, talk with my friends about Christ, eat lunch with someone sitting by themselves; it’s a day that something special happens. Something out of the ordinary, or just deeper. A creation of a moment that actually means something in life. A moment that could make or break it.
Last summer during summer camp, the focus of the week was called “The Pursuit”. On the last day of camp, the visiting preacher told us that if there was someone that we needed to talk to, something that we needed to fix, that as soon as we walk out of the doors, we need to do it. Now is the time. His words really fixed themselves on my heart and later that evening, I asked my best friend to step aside so I could talk to her. At the time, I had felt that our friendship was going a bit downhill; it wasn’t as special or interesting anymore. And so we talked. She didn’t feel exactly the same way I did, but I was glad that I could at least let both of us know how I was feeling. I walked away from the conversation thinking that the world could not be any better.
I’m not trying to say that our friendship is bad or anything, but yet again, I’m getting that feeling that we’re missing something in our friendship. I’m actually feeling it in two of my best friendships. What we’re talking about doesn’t really matter and isn’t that interesting. I think that I’ve found the problem though. With both of my friends, when we started our friendship, it was a very God-based friendship because we’re all Christians. But now, after time has gone on, I feel like our conversations and friendships in general have become more transactional. I know that most people out there in the world are fine with talking transactionally all the time. I think that’s how my friends feel. But I want something more. God wants me to create more transformational conversations because transactional conversations are the water from the well, while transformational conversations are the living water that Jesus gives us. Transformational conversations and moments are the ones that will sustain us through our lives.
Going back to my friendship, I’m going to start to try and turn our conversations from boys to a more transformational topic. I know that with God I can do it. Without Him and those transformational moments, everything I say is worthless. And I don’t want to be worthless.