Why I do what I do

First off, let me tell it to you straight. My parents do not know about this blog. And I hope that they don’t find out about it for a long while. I created this blog away from their protective eyes so that I could get my bottled up feelings out of me. A lot of them also happen to be about my family. Another reason they don’t know about it.

But I’ve changed my mind on my motives to keep this blog a secret. Up until now, I’ve believed that I’ve kept this blog a secret because my parents don’t understand me and I want to be slightly rebellious. Nothing more rebellious than keeping a secret. My perspective was a grudging one, a negative one. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a huge help and my main focus was to bring me closer to God. That’s a big positive. But concerning the publicity to my family about it…. negative. I did not want them to find out how problematic I was inside.

But was it a rebellious act? Did I really not want them to know about me because I didn’t think they would understand? Or was it because I love them? Yes, I said love them. I think that a great possibility is that I didn’t show my parents my blog because I didn’t want them to be ashamed or shocked by the stuff going on inside me that they don’t see. I didn’t want them to get hurt. So it was an act of sacrificial love that kept me from displaying my blog to my family.

I’m not trying to get glory here or appreciation or a few “Awwwww!”‘s from the audience, I’m just trying to tell the truth and set myself straight. This love thing. It keeps popping up everywhere. Ever since I went through the study of love and couldn’t figure it out, but then decided to just let it roll, I’ve found love everywhere. Examples, meanings, everything. Love is something special. I enjoy feeling and seeing love. it’s a precious thing in our current society. Something that I think we need more of. Love. More love.

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