I’ve begun to realize that this blog isn’t scheduled into my day like everything else, but that it’s really a privilege. And like a lot of my other privileges, it can be taken away. Since my parents don’t know about it, they don’t have the ability to take it away, but their restrictions on other things like time have the ability to take away my time with this blog. And I’ve been finding that I’m allowing this blog to be taken away from me; for longer and longer time periods too. Reality has come as a big slap to the face; me not being able to write on this blog is entirely my fault. Not my parents, not the time restrictions, not my bed time. It’s because I have become too lax to make sure I have enough time to do this. A good post could probably take me all day to write. Instead my readers are getting half hour, maybe an hour, of crunch time writing. And I deeply apologize for my lack of motivation to make this blog the best that it can be. I’ve been hindering God’s word because of my own human desires. Hard thing to face.
One thing that I’ve learned from past experiences, though, is if I’m messing up one part of my life, I’m probably messing up another part of my life the same way. I’ve found two other places in my life where I’m destroying my goals by being lazy and unmotivated. These two areas are exercising and my path to Christ. I’ll talk about the exercising part first. So, I’ve danced for twelve years and I did soccer for a while, but I’ve never been a huge fan of exercising. I love to stretch but getting up from the floor and going outside to run just isn’t high on my to do list. In fact, I doubt it’s on there at all. This summer I had made a plan to run every day. Yes, it was a big ambition, but for a week I actually did it. I ran every single day. Even when I came home purple in the face and gasping for breath, I knew that this would help me get fit. Or at least stay fit. But then some complications arrived and I wasn’t allowed to run. There was another option, but one that wasn’t very appealing to me. So I just quit.
I defiantly wouldn’t call myself and over all quitter, usually I try to take things through to the end. But sometimes I kind of let things … become really lax. Too lax. Take my walk with God for example. The first year after I had moved I was taking leaps and bounds on my path to Christ. I was growing so much and everyone including myself could see how He was impacting my life. Then maybe about three or four months ago, I hit a road block. I think I thought that I had learned all that there was to know. I know that’s one hundred percent wrong, but for some reason I couldn’t find anything to study. And instead of trying really really hard to discover something new and to grow in my walk with God, I just let it fade. Now I’m sort of on track to becoming stronger in my walk, but I’m defiantly paying the price for letting it lag so much. But I know I can work it back up. God wants this relationship too after all. So from now on I promise that I will try my best to make my best effort to make this blog better, exercise more, and become closer to God. I have a goal now. And I’m going to achieve it.