This is the story of the unexpected change in my life. Some of you may find it engrossing, mildly interesting, or boring. But all of us hit these bumps in the road. I’ve hit one and I’ve written it out for you in black and white. Some of this is from the day after. Some of this is from now, looking back. I hope you enjoy.
So, last night my life took a turn. For the better or the worse I’m not sure; kind of both. The setting of my story is at my sleepover with my best friend in my basement. The activity was chatting with my new best guy friend. Did you catch that? Guy friend. Not boyfriend. And we’ve only been bestest friends for about a month. The interesting tidbit was that he and my best friend were in love with each other and basically online dated for a long time before my friend randomly broke up with him. But that’s their story. This one’s mine.
A little while after my best friend had come over, my family kicked us out of the basement so they could watch the Olympics. So we went up to my room. That’s where things started to get interesting. As usual with this friend we soon found ourselves on the topic of boys. And then my new bestest guy friend came up. That’s when the secrets were told. And those who were the secret were told that the secret had been told. And the rest of the night I worried and worried that my friendship that I had with my guy friend had just been ruined by future awkwardness.
See, I liked my guy friend as a best friend. Nothing more. The same as I liked my best friend that was over at my house for a sleepover. The difference was that over the course of about three weeks my guy friend and I had talked and talked and talked. About numerous things though mostly including helping each other out with the problems at home. He had greatly helped me (and is still helping me) figure out some of my life questions and problems and I in turn had (hopefully) helped out with some of his.
But back to the present. Back to the secret. The secret that was about a feeling of something greater than a friendship. A feeling greater than a best friendship. A feeling that was not my feeling. But a feeling of someone else’s, that I’m pretty sure you now know who I speak of. And that’s where I got stuck. Confused and afraid. See, I had not told my guy friend about the covenant I have with God. I did not tell him that I had pledged, to myself and to God, that I would not love a guy until I was strong in my love for God. And that’s another spot where I was torn. My guy friend was helping me be stronger in my love for God. If things ever went further, would it be okay?
So I battled with these questions, though not daring to ask anyone, all night long and every time we talked. What had been said by my best friend at the sleepover alters the talks between me and my guy friend. Our friendship isn’t the same. But the story doesn’t stop there.
About a week after the sleepover, I woke up at 2:23am to the buzzing of my cellphone signaling that I had a text. I knew who it was. Only he would send me a text after I had gone to bed. I didn’t read it though. In the morning I would know that God stopped me from reading it so I would have a good nights rest. Because in the morning I would read the text that told me of the possibility that my guy friend would have to move. I was shocked and a little teary eyed. The reasons being that first off, he was the only person that I had told everything to. Everything. And secondly, he’s had a pretty hard life. Well, the last two years mostly. I won’t go into detail, but I could compare his life to Job’s in the Bible. I was struck speechless when he trusted me with his story. I’m not speechless often. So I was saddened by this new turn of event partially because of him too.
Right now at this moment though, I’m not quite sure how I’m doing, but I think that I am doing better. Better meaning not so confused (having read a lot in my Bible and talked with God), not so worried (having read a lot in my Bible and putting the future in God’s hands), and not so controlling (having read a lot in my Bible and giving it all up to God to take care of). Looking at the stuff in the parentheses it’s kind of obvious that I’m relying on God a lot more and further trusting in him. Maybe I’m just being indifferent. Backing away a little bit and trying to be indifferent. Maybe it’s a little bit of both ideas.
Anyways, that’s the story of the huge turn in my life. I’ve ground my vehicle to a stop, but I think the coast is clear to continue on the road slowly. Hopefully I won’t turn onto an uncharted road for a while. That would be nice. But is the road ahead nice? I’ll have to move forward to find out.