I’ve found the peace

Yea! I’m back from camp! Just a quick note, camp was the most amazingest time in my life. It changed me. It moved me. It helped me feel God. And it helped me find peace. Why is this such a big deal? Well, duh, read the title of the blog. I’ve been having wars inside of me that have gone on for too long. The burdens just kept piling up and I was looking for an easier yoke. My mind was being destroyed because of my worries and anxiety. But now I’ve found peace.

I went to camp not knowing what to expect or even knowing if I was really going to get anything out of it. It seemed like my problems just followed me to camp. Most of them. I was rooming with my best friend, whom which we had a declining friendship. Let me tell you, it kept declining even at camp. Just problem after problem. I really felt uneasy. But then I got the opportunity to go camping in the woods for a night. No one else from my youth group was going, so I felt a little more free. One thing I didn’t know when I signed up, was that it was a two mile hike straight up the mountain. I was sure my heart was going to burst. The only thing that really kept me going was that my youth pastor had told the entire youth group that I was going. Peer pressure. I gave into it, but I guess for a good reason. Once we got to the top we ate dinner, played around, got our tents set up, and then started a devotional. It was during that that I realized that I was at peace with myself. I wasn’t worried about anything. The friendship that was going downhill? It wasn’t up there. During the hike, I had been so focused on trying not to be dead weight (figuratively and literally) that I had totally forgotten about all of my problems. As soon as I realized this, I looked up to the heavens into the shining stars and thanked God. After that, I could be true to myself and I had a super time. I had found peace. I was deeply connected to God out there in His wilderness.

When we hiked back into camp the next morning, however, I almost immediately met my friend. My problems were back. I could feel the missing part. And I knew what it was. I was just too scared to tell her. Some lessons from camp helped me though. The theme of camp was titled “The Pursuit”. The first night we talked about how god is pursuing a relationship with each of us. I had never really thought about His part in our relationship. When the pastor talked about how much God wanted a relationship with us and kept on trying to get it, I thought about my failing relationship with my friend. I decided that if God was going to pursue a relationship with me, I was going to try and pursue the friendship with my friend. I was just too scared to talk to her. The last night, the pastor preached on taking a stand. To stand up and protect Jesus’s bride, the church. He also said, “If there is someone in this room that you need to talk to, talk to them tonight. Get whatever it is between you figured out. Talk to them tonight.” Could God be any more direct? I was still a little hesitant, but after seeing another friend talk to someone they needed to and their talk turned out good. Well, she had faced her fear, I was going to face mine.

When we got back to our room that we shared, I asked my friend if we could talk. She said yes and we walked around until we found an empty bench. I told her I was sort of scared to tell her about my feelings because I wasn’t sure how she would react. We talked about how I was feeling and even though I’m sure she felt completely like I did, I felt so much better. After we hugged and I wiped my eyes, we stood up to go get ice cream. As soon as I stood up, I felt like I had just taken off the forty pound backpack that I wore on the backpacking trip. My burden of this friendship was gone. I was full of joy and peace.

Our friendship is heading back to be the best friendship I’ve ever had and even when we find a bump, I don’t worry anymore. I have hope. And just like the preacher said, if you need to talk to someone, do it. If you have a worry in your life, confront it.I’m trying to do the same thing with my family. If you’ve been following my blog, you know that we’re not what we seem. We’re a very disfunctional family. I can’t break out of the mold they’ve given me and show them my true self. I need to talk to them. I need to free myself. We humans were not made to be under the yoke of the world. You can tell when you are under the world’s yoke because God’s yoke is easy and light. If you’re burdened, lift it up to Jesus. He’ll take it and you’ll find peace. I tried and it worked. I’ve found peace inside. Go find yours.

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