The goldfish bowl

Today, when I up to my room, shut the door, and pulled on the string to shut my blinds. Nothing happened. I looked up at the cheap blinds framed against the black night sky and pulled again. Nothing. At that moment I felt a weird feeling. I think if might have been fear. All of a sudden, anyone who ventured past my window could see my every move. Even though most likely nobody was out there, I felt like I was in a glass box, like a goldfish bowl, but square. Now I knew how the fish felt. Everyone staring at them. Seeing their every move.

I know. Paranoid me. But that could happen to me in real life. Someday, someone could spill all of my secrets. Before now, I always thought that I would be ruined if that happened. Now, I think I know differently. If all of my life is God’s and I live a Christ-like life, how can I be ashamed? Okay, maybe a few things I still don’t want revealed, but I doubt that they would ruin me.

I know I’ve probably already mentioned this, but the people that could ruin me or get close to would be the people that know me best. My best friends and my family could turn against me and make my life pretty miserable.

But, back to the blinds. Why was I afraid of the lack of privacy?I know everyone likes his or her own space, but what was I afraid of? It must be judgment. I’m afraid of what people will think of me. So to fix this “problem”, I need to not only lead a Christ-like life, which I’m trying to do right now anyways, but also try to not depend or care about what others think about me. Well, not try to, but actually do. Trying isn”t always my absolute best effort. But to actually do and accomplish it is obviously try8ing my hardest to achieve it.

So really, the blinds don’t matter. What matters is showing a Christ-like example to others and not care what the world says about it. Trying to be perfect in the world’s eyes won’t help me into heaven and isn’t always the best path. But Jesus’ path is the right one.

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