Those three words sum up my whole day. It was a pretty bad one. Bad enough to go in the record books. Let’s start with my schedule. I woke at 5:30, went to school, came home, went directly to camp training, went directly to dance, came home at 9:45. I could seriously die right now. That’s part of the work overload and stress part of my day. The rest comes with the training. Background info is that I really don’t want to work for the camp. I tried it last year and basically hated it. I decided I would try it one more year. So the training went fine I guess, but towards the end, some things happened that I was unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time. At the time I didn’t think it was fair that I shared the blame. Adding on to that, I was … very strongly recommended to change something about me. Basically ordered. One thing about me, I hate people telling me to change something about me. Whether my personality or clothing or whatnot, I do not peacefully take suggestions about me. So, I got fired up about that. I didn’t show it of course, but I started feeling like I did when I was done with my piano lessons last year. Those piano lessons led to suppressed anger, depression and many, many tears. So yeah, training isn’t fun and I do not like that camp. It just added to the stress.
But that’s just one side of my day. The other side contains forgiveness, understanding, growth. I thought and stewed over the “recommended change” and decided that it wasn’t as big as I was making it. It was just a suggestion and they weren’t really mad at me. I don’t think. And when I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got blamed, I guess I could have stepped in and done something. I totally don’t feel comfortable speaking out, especially in that sort of situation, but I still could have done something. I’ve gotten good at ignoring things. Like that or my feelings or sometimes God’s messages.
So after the bombshell of a training, I trooped off to dance where I hoped to have a relaxing time, but really I just tried to shovel energy into my motions from some energy pit inside of me that I didn’t have. I’m now home and typing this up. I’ve worked out my feelings and don’t really feel like I’ve been treated unfairly. They’ve been forgiven and I’ve learned a lesson. The work overload I know will get lighter as soon as I talk to God, and the stress is the same thing. He can come and lift my life off of my shoulders. Isn’t that amazing? He also answers questions. I have one now. I know I’m supposed to love everyone, including my enemies, but what if I find a Christian that I just really don’t like? I know the person is a Christian, but I just really don’t get along with them. Is that okay? Or should I try to be friends with everyone? I don’t think that is wise. But I’m not sure. Anyone know?
I love how God can relieve the stress on my shoulders by just letting me type a post. My troubles hopefully aren’t troubling my readers, but are instead making them have questions and learning from my mistakes, instead of theirs. If not, well, you don’t have to subscribe. As long as I trust in God; however, I know that I can live a fruitful life and be who He wants me to be.