When I started this blog, it was mainly to get some of my pent up feelings out of me. I also hoped that someone else could be affected by what I said. I thought that over a month or two I might gather one or two followers and I could improve my writing and grow in my faith even more. But I fell into the trap. I got one like on The princess and the pauper, and I got so excited. Someone actually liked what I wrote! But that’s not what it’s about. My preacher often says, “I’m just up here preaching to myself. If you happen to overhear that’s good for you.” In that way my blog is here for me and if someone happens to stumble across it, good for them.
The LORD says in Proverbs 25:6, “Do not exalt yourself in the king’s presence, and do not claim a place among his great men.” I should not be taking pride or credit for the words that God are speaking through me. I am but a small blog building an area of influence through service and work, which is how it should be.
Every so often I need a reminder that I am not the biggest biscuit in the basket or the prettiest pony in the barn. Or the sharpest sword in the shed. Yeah, God loves me and yes, I’m growing in my faith, but I just got past crawling. My pride inflates me and I think I’m so strong in my faith and such a great Christian. Well, there are defiantly people that are stronger than me in my faith and are better Christians.
Pride started to get in the way of my friendship with my very best friend. We both dance, get really hyper when sugared up, sing in choir, secretly like someone, go to the same church, and are good in school. Heard the saying “Opposites attract”? Well, it’s sometimes true the other way around. Not always though. When I had first moved to where I am now, we became fast friends because of our similarities. I had finally found someone just like me!! But about a month or two ago, I felt our friendship wane. I couldn’t figure out for the longest time what it was. I thought she was pulling away from me. We are a grade apart. But that wasn’t it. As we studied Service in the Celebration of Disciplines by Richard J. Foster, I realized just how big my pride was. It was huge. Foster talked about how humility and service went hand in hand; kind of like “The last shall be first and the first shall be last,” (Matthew 20:16). Because we were so similar, I was trying to best my friend in every similar aspect in our lives. And some that weren’t similar. I was comparing myself to her and then trying to be better. She wasn’t the one tearing up the friendship, I was.
Once I realized this, I prayed to God to change my heart and take away my pride. Ouch, that hurt. I said I didn’t care what it took to keep this friendship; and I meant it. Since then, He has worked in my heart and together we’re fighting my pride. I accept that she will be better than me at somethings and that’s okay. A friendship is made so the two people can support each other acknowledge and affirm their worth. That also describes service. So in a sense, a friendship is a service to the other person. I’m blessed to be serving my friend, she’s a great person to have a relationship with. I hope my pride won’t get in the way again.
Just as my pride interfered in my relationship with my friend, my pride surfaced when I started getting likes and followers on this blog. I thought I was so big and awesome. Well, I’m not. Pride is one of my downfalls that I need to keep a tab on to make sure that it doesn’t ruin my life. I hope that my pride will be trampled and left behind on my rugged path of faith. With God’s help I know I can do that.